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5 Current WWE Heels Who Are Really Babyfaces
By: Derek X | Posted: 04/23/12

I did this blog last year and it was a lot of fun. I got a lot of good feedback. I'm trying to get back to the days when I blogged for fun and I wasn't always so damned annoyed (and annoying, apparently).

We all know the basics of WWE... Babyfaces GOOD. Heels BAD. It's been like that for years. But it's not so simple anymore. Heels like Daniel Bryan are being cheered. Superfaces like John Cena are being booed. It's a crazy messed-up world where up is down, left is right, night is day and Brock is back. How do you navigate such a screwed up WWE landscape?

Well, I'm here to help. Here are five current heels who, if you really think about it, shouldn't actually be heels at all:

#1. Dolph Ziggler
In my book, Dolph Ziggler is one of the best and most talented superstars on the WWE roster. Recently, he's adopted a gimmick known as 'The Show-Off.' He gyrates on the entrance ramp, he does sit-ups in the ring. He even stands on his head.




Look at me, mom - I mean, Vickie...


It's a whole thing. Heels have been known to do this for a while now. They do it to upstage and embarrass their opponents - usually babyfaces - and to garner a negative crowd reaction. Nothing new about that. But Dolph Ziggler is different.

How, you may ask? What Ziggler shows off is actual in-ring talent and wrestling ability. Not only is Dolph a fluid performer in the ring, but he's the best seller in the business. He takes bumps and makes them look horrific. He oversells finishing maneuvers, which makes his opponents look great. Dolph Ziggler is the perfect wrestler to watch... lose. Which, unfortunately, is something he does far too often. He's always booked to lose because its so much fun to watch him lose.

I could go on a tangent about how he deserves more than to lose, or how he's more talented than some of the talent he's asked to put over, or how he's gone through a program with Edge & CM Punk - both World Champions at the time - and he's outperformed them both or how he's proven he's main-event ready, but then I'd just be going back to my annoying smarkness. The point here is that Ziggler is fun to watch. Heels aren't supposed to be fun to watch. Babyfaces are.

Of course, this is made more difficult by his twitter handle @HEELZiggler, but there's a whole meta-thing going on there...


#2. Jack Swagger
Ever since he's entered WWE, Jack Swagger has had a nickname he's referred to himself as - The All-American American. He's also always been a heel. How is someone with two Americans in his nickname a heel? Especially in a post-9/11 world? Does one of the Americans cancel the other out?

Maybe he's undercover with the Taliban. I mean, doubling down on the Americans would be an excellent cover. No one would suspect a thing. Maybe Jack Swagger's real gimmick is that of a domestic terrorist. That would take some amazing forethought on behalf of WWE, but if so, they're doing a great job of executing the long con. Of course, I'm just joking about that. I don't want the FBI investigating me anymore than they already are. (I swear, I did not mean to click on that link... and then mindlessly spend hours browsing that website... and then accidentally download all those videos. I was just curious.)

Anywho, I don't understand how Jack Swagger's All American American persona isn't the poster-child for WWE's Armed Forces initiative. He's the perfect candidate. He's in good physical condition. He's from a distinctly red state.



He can even 'drop and give you 50' at a moments notice.

So, why isn't Jack Swagger WWE's go-to-guy for all things American? Why exactly is Jack Swagger a heel? Because a he's boastful, shameless asshole. Like pretty much all Americans that I know, myself included. Swagger embodies the American spirit perfectly. By that equation, all Americans are heels. You know, I'm fairly certain that if you asked most of the other countries in the world, they'd probably agree with that statement.

WWE is an American company. Well, they're based in America. So, Jack Swagger's "American-ness" should be that of a babyface rather than a heel.

Plus, he has a very profound lisp and that's always funny.


#3. Eve Torres
Only recently has Eve become a heel. Before, she was just another barbie-doll diva, completely indistinguishable from the other hundred of them on the WWE roster. But then she did something that was completely unforgivable. Something so heinous, so disgusting, that her name has become synonymous with that of a 'hoeski'. She violated the Bro Code.

You just don't do that shit.

When Eve kissed John Cena, broke Zack Ryder's pathetic little heart and openly admitted to the world that she would sleep her way to the top of WWE, she crossed a li- wait, what was that last part again? So, you're telling me that a chick who looks like her admitted to everyone that she's be willing to fuck them for a promotion. And people, men, booed her for that? Are you kidding me? Just tell me where the line starts.

Okay, so maybe not everyone appreciates an openly slutty woman like I do. But like Eve's actions or not, you have to admit that she's a pretty hot chick. I mean, you'd have to be gay not to want her all over you.



I didn't say it. I didn't say a thing.

I doubt anyone is so ignorant as to think that this doesn't happen in real life. People, especially women, use their sexuality to get ahead or get what they want all the time. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. You use what you have to get what you want. It's a meme as old as prostitution itself, which is the world's oldest profession. Men use women for sex, women use men for money. It's not a zero-sum game. Everybody wins. Everybody walks away satisfied... usually.

In WWE, with a man like Vince McMahon in charge, I'd actually be more surprised if something like this hasn't happened than if it has. That's not to say that Eve did this in real life or anything, albeit I wouldn't be mortified if she did. These days, in this economy, in this dog-eat-dog world, you have to do whatever it takes to get ahead. Even if that includes letting that aforementioned dog play 'bury the bone'.

If you ask me, Eve is the smartest diva of them all. She went from chump to champ and now she seemingly has her eyes set on Big Johnny. I bet Little Johnny appreciates that. You should too.


#4. Alberto Del Rio
Rich man = Bad guy. It's a cliche' that has been around for ages and only gets worse as time goes by. In bible times (if you believe in that crap), there's a story about the rich man who wouldn't give his scraps to the poor man. In more recent events, the 'Occupy' movement that started in New York and expanded worldwide was to stop the growing disparity of wealth between the richest 1% and the poorest 99% of the people in the world. Honestly, it was an honorable movement and one that needed to be done, if nothing else but to bring this issue to light - even if nothing was truly accomplished.

That's all well and good, but you can't prejudice every rich person as being bad just because they're rich. I'm certain that there are some decent rich people out there somewhere. Alberto Del Rio is one of the few. Name one instance since he's been in WWE that he's done anything to disparage the poor. Go ahead. I'll wait the length of time it takes me to finish this sentence, skip the next line and move on to the next paragraph.

There. What did you think of? Nothing. That's what I thought. Alberto Del Rio may be an aristocrat, but he's a fun-loving one. There has been other rich people in WWE who not only flaunted their wealth, but used it to buy their way to the top and embarrass the simple serfs beneath them. The 'Million Dollar Man' Ted DiBiase springs to mind. Now that was an evil rich man. I can think of plenty of instances when he disparaged the poor. Del Rio isn't like him at all. He uses the majority of his wealth to purchase expensive vehicles, which he brings to the arena with him to allow the people who couldn't hope to afford them a chance to marvel at their beauty. And then he never drives them again.

What do you think he does with them? Return them from the place WWE rented them from? No way. I'd like to think he gives them to charity.



Pictured: Charity.

Moreover, Alberto Del Rio is a man of destiny. I don't know how that makes him a babyface, but it certainly doesn't make him a heel. Destiny implies that all of his success was bound to happen. Its providence. He was supposed to be where he is now. You can't blame the guy for doing what he was divinely decreed to do. Even if that fate is to be a heel.

But you... you already knew that. (See, it's destiny!)


#5. The Miz
Fortune favors the bold. No one in WWE is quite as bold as The Miz. His main bold statement is that he is AWESOME! Rather he's actually awesome or not is really a question of personal preference (IMHO, he is), but what he certainly is... is a heel.

But why? Throughout the annals of WWE history, wrestlers have made bold, exclamatory statements about themselves. The Rock called himself "The People's Champion" and "The Great One". Triple H calls himself "The King of Kings". Bret Hart refers to himself as "The Best There Is, The Best There Was and The Best There Ever Will Be."

That last one is the boldest statement of them all. It technically minimizes everyone who currently, has ever or will ever compete in WWE. Now, not all of them started the tropes themselves, but none of them have been refuted. Along comes The Miz, who calls himself awesome and all of a sudden, he's a bad guy because of it. I don't seem to remember him ever saying he was the 'awesomest' (if that's even a word) or 'more awesome' than anyone else. Just that he himself is awesome. For a guy like Miz, that's actually pretty modest.



"I'm The Miz. And I'm... Modest." I'm sure that's what he's saying.

But what people don't know is that The Miz has another lesser known bold statement that he used to proclaim:

be miz


The Miz, who proclaims to be awesome, wants us to be like him. He wants us to be awesome too. That's why he makes such a big deal about it. You see, to The Miz, the world is full of awesome. But not many people take full advantage of the awesome that is presented to them. The Miz takes it upon himself to be to the beacon of awesomeness that we all can look up to, to inspire to be more like. He is the Dark Knight of WWE. He's not being the wrestler that the WWE Universe wants, but he's being the wrestler that the WWE Universe needs.

He's Batman. And Batman is not a heel.
- Derek X
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