The Angry Smark is a communal column written by long-term wrestling fans. TWF takes no responsibility for the opinions contained within.
Welcome back Peckernecks!
I'm not gonna focus on one particular event/show in this edition, instead I'm just gonna give you my not so humble opinions on a number of things/people within WWE and TNA at the moment while trying my very best not to get too pissed off while I do it.
The first thing i want too do though is to clear up some possible misconceptions that may have arisen in regards to the comments I made about Bret Hart in my last blog.
1) I do
still believe that Bret Hart is one of the greatest wrestlers in the history of the business.
2) When I said that Bret spent over 10 years throwing a hissy fit, I was referring to his constant refusals to appear on a single WWE show based on his feelings about Montreal 1997, in no way was I referring to Owen's death, which of course
would have had a bearing on his decisions and which of course
no one can blame him for.
however stick by what I said about Bret helping Vince to piss all over the Wrestling business.
Now that I've cleared that up we can really begin.
TNA's X-Division "Revival"
Brian Kendrick, Amazing Red and Generation Me. Going on looks, this is the TNA X Division. Four guys. I mean don't get me wrong, those are four talented guys of that there is no doubt, but the fact is that four guys make a stable not a division.
In my opinion the only reason Kazarian was involved in last weeks X-Division beatdown was because he was the reigning X-Division Champion, by the looks of it TNA obviously don't want Fortune, of which Kazarian is a member, associated with the X-Division regardless of the fact that Fortune contains AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels and Kazarian all of whom are pioneers of said X Divison... Am I missing something here?
The rumours that I've been hearing with regards to July's Destination X PPV is that it's gonna be an ALL
X-Division card and Mick Foley did say that he would be bringing new faces into the division before the PPV on last weeks Impact Wrestling show.
That means that TNA have a month and a half to rebuild the X-Division, something thats so far taken them.... AT LEAST A YEAR AND A HALF!!! So forgive me if I remain sceptical. What TNA need to do is realise that they already have a substantial amount of X-Division talent within the company -and i'm not talking about Robbie E!- The ones I'm talking about are the likes of AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels, Kazarian, Chris Sabin, Alex Shelley and Suicide. Along with the four names I mentioned earlier they would make the X-Division ten (extremely talented) wrestlers strong.
The sad thing is that it looks as though the likes of AJ and Daniels couldn't give a fuck about the division that put them on the map to begin with, at least on TV that is given that they haven't said a word about the current "death of the X-Division" storyline. If you really want to push the X-Division again then you have to have people like AJ joining in to help defend it! Fuck this pointless angle with Bully Ray, that is nowhere
near as important as re-establishing the X Division.
TNA need to lend some of the X-Division's greatest names back to the X-Division to get it back on it's feet, its that
simple! I'll wait and see how this plays out in the next couple of weeks before I form a firm opinion on this latest "attempt" at an X revival.
A Revised View On Velvet Sky
A couple of editions back I explained that even though Velvet's not the greatest in ring worker in the history of wrestling, I have no problem seeing her on Impact every week because she's so damn hot... and how I couldn't give fuck about how hypocritical that is.
Well she's certainly on TV every week and while I have no problem with that in the slightest, I do have a problem with the fact that TNA have her doing something different almost every week; first there's the Winter/Angelina angle that hasn't been resolved, then came the fortnight where she was involved in the Angle/Jarrett/Karen situation and now a new angle has been started between her and the returning ODB. All this makes me think that she's being a little overexposed and not in the way that we'd all like! That
would undoubtedly get ratings though... hmmmmmmm something for TNA to think about I suppose.
Mickie James is the TNA Knockouts Champion and one of the best and most popular female wrestlers today so to me that means that she should be getting more time than she's been getting recently. The problem is that while she is obviously better Velvet in the ring, which is why she is Champion, she doesn't have Velvet's ability on the mic and while Wrestling may matter this is still TNA, where talking is king.
A few weeks ago Velvet appeared on an edition of Impact in three different segments while Mickie had a very short, meaningless match and that was all we saw of her for the week. Don't get me wrong, I love Velvet, but Mickie should be getting more time than that regardless of how popular Velvet is - Just look at all the damn time that was wasted on Madison Rayne while she was Champion!
In regards to the Winter/Angelina/Velvet angle: I've come to the conclusion that this was thought up at the time when TNA put Angelina and Velvet back together the first time, when The Beautiful People first made their entrance after being reunited: At that time Mike Tenay said that all was back to normal in TNA again, or something like that, and everyone with a fully functioning libido was happy at the sight of Angelina and Velvet working those ropes therefore it got a bigger pop than it normally would.
Remember that Angelina was out of TNA because of visa issues so that means that TNA couldn't engineer the split between her and Velvet, it was forced on them, yet when they reunited they still got a big pop probably in more ways than one, so to me this current split is TNA doing it all over again with total control of the issue just so they can put them back together and get another big pop. They will be reunited at some point in the next few months and to make the pop bigger they have Velvet stop doing the signature Beautiful People entrance until she's back with Angelina, though it could also be TNA's attempt to get people to take her more seriously. Either way I do share in Taz's sorrow about the distinct lack of pigeons in the Impact Zone.
In the end Winter will end up kicking the shit out of Velvet at which point Angelina will "snap out of it" and save Velvet signalling the return of the greatest female gimmick in wrestling history. I for one cannot wait for that moment to arrive.
Or, in another scenario; Winter could beat Mickie for the Knockouts Title thanks to help from Angelina before resuming the feud with Velvet in a title match where Angelina "snaps out of it" and helps Velvet win her first Knockouts title. I don't think that Velvet should ever be the Champion given that she doesn't really need it but if it were to happen, I wouldn't mind too much as long as she loses it back to Mickie shortly after.
To be honest though I do think that Velvet has improved recently, you may think that I'm being biased but I really mean it! In fact fuck it, i'm gonna stick my neck out and say that she can and will do a good job in the next couple of months! There you go, I NEVER stick my neck out for anybody because I'm too proud to admit it if I get it wrong. I know, I know you're all asking "when this guy ever been wrong?" but it does
happen...rarely, and even if I am wrong, she'll still look amazing getting it wrong, yay it's win/win for me.
On a sidenote, I would like to state that Miss Tessmacher is mounting a challenge to The Beautiful People's title of World Greatest Ring Entrance with her secretarial striptease entrance, to quote a former WCW World Champion... DAMN!!!!!
"My Name Is Randy Orton"
I think that Randy deserves a round of applause for being able to remember his own name.
We all know that every WWE promo is scripted nowadays, so that means that someone actually wrote this, then it was read for approval and then it was given to Randy for the show, what a stupid thing to have him say! I mean I know that Randy could've come up with better than that on his own, scratch that even Hornswoggle could come up with better than that and he doesn't even talk for fuck sake!
The worse part is that the Smackdown writing team has proven time and again that they do a consistantly better job than the wax crayon eating idiots over on RAW.
Anyway what I want to talk about is the fact that I just can't hate Orton as much as I hate Cena for one reason and one reason alone. That reason is............he entertained me at Over The Limit against Christian while i am still waiting for Cena to do so after 9 years!!!
Orton has had two good matches with Christian since he was drafted there and while you may say that they were down to Christian's skill and experience the fact remains that Orton's been in two good matches, and thats two more
than John "shoot me in the head and I'll STILL! get up because you shoot like a girl" Cena.
My problem is that Orton hasn't got alot of good opposition on Smackdown; there's Christian and Sheamus and...then who? I don't want to see him face The Undertaker again and I NEVER want to see him in the ring with Kane or Mark Henry, so that leaves Wade Barrett. Barrett wouldn't be too bad I suppose, there's Cody Rhodes but that would require Vince taking a chance and actually pushing
somebody other than Orton or Cena, so good look with that one... Bryan Danielson will never get in the main event because that's where we
want to see him and the likes of Kingston, Mcintyre (who i think could have a good match with Orton)and Ziggler have bee moved to RAW so they can get squashed by da dada da SUPERCENA. So it's slim pickings for Randy I'm afraid boys and girls. No, wait, I'm not afraid! Its you that should be afraid, afraid of the god awful PPV matches we're gonna be seeing from Cena and Orton for the next 20 years!
It's Time For Me To REALLY Educate You Fools!
This is an idea that I came up with recently, think of it has homework if you will. I'm gonna "suggest" some matches for you to watch - this is more for any younger wrestling fans that may be reading this really, but if you're reading this and you haven't seen some of the matches that I list then I suggest you watch them regardless of how old you are. I plan on making this a regular theme from now on so lets get cracking: I'll start with ten of my personal favourite matches of all time.
In no particular order:
Kurt Angle Vs Desmond Wolfe
, TNA Turning Point 2009
Rob Van Dam vs Jerry Lynn
, ECW Television Title Match, ECW Living Dangerously 1999
Bret Hart vs Owen Hart
, WWF Title Match, WWF SummerSlam 1994
Randy Savage vs Ricky Steamboat
, WWF Intercontinental Title Match, WrestleMania 3
Bret Hart vs Chris Benoit
, Owen Hart Tribute Match, WCW Monday Nitro 1999
Hulk Hogan vs The Ultimate Warrior
, WWF Title Match, WrestleMania 6
Rick Rude vs Ricky Steamboat
, 30 Minute WCW US Title Ironman Match, Beach Blast 1992
AJ Style vs Christopher Daniels vs Samoa Joe
, TNA X Division Title Triple Threat Match, Unbreakable 2005
Bret Hart vs Mr Perfect
, WWF Intercontinental Title Match, SummerSlam 1991
Kurt Angle vs Brock Lesnar
, 60 Minute WWE Title Ironman Match, Smackdown 2003
Remember that any self respecting wrestling fan has seen these ten matches.
Until the next time, pencil necks!