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Title: X-Blog #0093: 5 Reasons Why John Cena Is Bad For WWE
Date: 08/27/10
Author: Derek X

If you know me or have ever read any of my blogs, then you know I am not a fan of John Cena. I criticize him a lot (A LOT) for various different things and I hear a lot of recourse for my criticisms. And rightfully so. Until I quantify the reasons why I don't like the guy, all of my condemnations are just incessant ramblings from an annoying smart mark.

#5. Cena Never Loses

Okay, of course he loses, I'm not stupid. But when he does lose, it's a rarity. Back in 2007, John Cena had a win-loss record of 100-15 during the time period of January 1st to August 20th. That's a .869 win percentage. To quantify, that's equal to an NBA team going 71-11. The NBA record is 72 wins - a feat which was accomplished by the Micheal Jordan led 1995-96 Chicago Bulls. Does that then make John Cena the Micheal Jordan of the WWE?




Everybody knows white boys can't jump.


In baseball terms , that's a season record of 141-21. The 1906 Chicago Cubs and 2001 Seattle Mariners hold the record for most wins in a baseball season with 116. Nowhere close to the 141 pace.

But I know what you're thinking... back in 2007 was when John Cena was being pushed as the WWE's main superstar and it's difficult to push someone if they're losing. True. But by that same equation, once Cena became a main-event level superstar, shouldn't that win-loss record begin to even out? Through May 2009, John Cena has an overall win-loss record of 640-197. That's still a .765 win percentage. No one else currently in the WWE has anything close to that record for their first seven years in the business.

Cena's apparent lack of losing leads me, alliteratively, to...


#4. Cena's Storylines Are Unbelievable

Wrestling is fake. I hope I'm not shattering anyone's belief system here, but as a smart mark I realize that wrestling is scripted just like any other television show on any given network. The fun part about pro-wrestling is the ability to suspend your knowledge of the business and believe in your favorite wrestlers' current plight.

I can't do that when it comes to John Cena. I can't do it because no matter what situation his storyline has him in, no matter how beaten and downtrodden he is, I just know that in the end he's going to overcome any and all obstacles. Sometimes, he even does it miraculously. As if he's some type of superhuman or something.
cena superman

I'm kidding about that, obviously, but every superhero in the comic book world has a foil. They all have that one supervillain that no matter how hard they try or how many times they stop their nefarious schemes, he just doesn't go away. Batman has The Joker. Superman has Lex Luthor. Cena doesn't have that.

Again, I know what you're thinking... pro-wrestlers aren't superheroes and the WWE Universe isn't the Marvel Universe. True. But throughout wrestling's illustrious history, every babyface has had a foil. They've all had that one heel who no matter how hard they tried or how many times they stopped their nefarious schemes, he just didn't go away. Sound familiar? Hulk Hogan had Roddy Piper. Steve Austin had Vince McMahon. The Rock, Triple H and Kurt Angle all had each other, depending on who was heel or babyface at the time.

And again, Cena doesn't have that. I guess the wrestler most likely to be Cena's foil is Edge. However, one aspect of being the foil is having the ability to be able to beat the superhero every now and again. Edge has pinned Cena on multiple occasions, but in the end, Cena always ends up on top. The same can be said for Batista, Triple H and Randy Orton when they face John Cena.

Like I said in the beginning, the fun part of pro-wrestling is the ability to suspend you knowledge of the business. I can't do that when it comes to Cena. I can't whole-heartedly believe when Cena is down and out because I know the end result already. A lot of pro-wrestling marks will discount the opinions of smarks like myself because they feel we complain too much. Whether you're a mark, a smark or just a casual viewer, we're all fans of this product. And pro-wrestling is a product that thrives off the opinions of their fans. Don't berate me for being a smark and complaining when my intelligence is being patronized.

Case in point: Just this past Summerslam, John Cena was DDT'd on the concrete floor by Nexus' Wade Barrett. That move that has long been a debilitating maneuver in pro-wrestling. Yet only minutes after being on the receiving end of such a debilitating maneuver, Cena is back in full 'Superman Mode', avoiding a 450 splash and eliminating the last two Nexus members. How is that believable?


#3. Cena's PG-Oriented Gimmick Has Flaws

There comes a time in every kid's life, when they put away their toys and pick up a skill that will become useful in their adult lives. Kids grow up and eventually (hopefully, anyway) they begin to see the world for what it really is. You don't see many teenage boys playing with action figures or teenage girls playing with Barbie dolls. They move on from their childish entanglements and become interested other, more worldly things.

There lies the fallacy with Cena's good guy gimmick: He appeals purposely to kids. The WWE in general appeals purposely to kids, and Cena is the front runner. It's the reason why he wears the ugly orange t-shirts and has the catchphrases. Because if there are two things kids love, it's bright colors and repetition.



And cookies. Kids love cookies.


There's usually a point in a kid's life where they realize not everything in the world is unicorns and candy. This world is not a PG-oriented land. And as those kids grow into adulthood and into more and more R-Rated material, do you really think they're going to keep their ties to PG-Cena intact? Or PG-WWE?

But, I know what you're thinking... if Cena's PG-oriented gimmick is meant to appeal to kids, why are there so many adult Cena fans? Well, the majority of the adult Cena fans are female. And the reason they cheer for Cena has nothing to do with his wrestling ability or his gimmick. As for the males who cheer for Cena, I don't know what to tell you. But odds are they're marks who don't care for the inner workings of the business. They are the ones who were able to maintain their suspended belief from childhood to adulthood. I envy them.

There's another major flaw in Cena's good guy gimmick: Everybody has a elastic limit, even Cena. There have been plenty of times when Cena has lost his temper in the ring and went on a rampage. When he goes from Superman to Hulk. And during those times, I can't help but wonder... what lesson is this teaching the kiddies? When people really piss you off, it's okay to kick some major ass?

And the final flaw with John Cena's gimmick is that it's just so fake. And this might just be a me thing. John Cena is billed as being from West Newbury, Massachusetts, which is about 40 miles north of Boston. Boston has a rich history of gang-related activity, mostly due to the Irish Mob who was situated there in the early-to-mid-1900's. However, West Newbury is not Boston. West Newbury is 98% white. West Newbury has an average annual income of $118,000. Please tell me where the 'Hustle, Loyalty & Respect' comes from when you're in the suburbs. I roll my eyes everytime Cena says something along the lines of, "Where I come from..." John Cena is a suburb raised, upper-class white boy playing a gimmick where he's street-wise and tough. I don't buy it for a second.


#2. Cena Is Destroying The Credibility Of Every WWE Superstar Ever

Bret Hart is the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be. At least that's how he's marketed. That has been and forever will be the subtitle to Bret Hart's career. But it's a lie. Were that to be true that means Bret Hart is better than John Cena in WWE's eyes. If that were so, then it would have been Bret Hart who reigned supreme at Summerslam and not John Cena.

That's one of the problems WWE will soon face if they continue to push John Cena the way they have for the past eight years. There have been plenty of great wrestlers to pass through WWE/WWF/WWWF over it's many years of existence. Not many of them have received the treatment that Cena has. In eight years of WWE service, John Cena is currently a 9-time World Champion. That's a rate of 1.125 championship reigns per year. To quantify that, Bret Hart is only a 7-time World Champion. Bruno Sammartino, who held the WWWF Championship for a record 11 year reign, was only a two-time champion. Ric Flair, who holds the record so far with 16 World Championships, accomplished such a feat over a 37-year career. If Cena's current championship pace continues, by the time his 37th year of wrestling occurs, he'll be a 42-time Champion. That's more World Championships than Steve Austin, Hulk Hogan, Bret Hart, The Rock and Shawn Micheals had over the span of their entire careers.



The long line of wrestlers John Cena pwns.


I know what you're thinking... John Cena is not the only wrestler in danger of overtaking Ric Flair's record. And you're right. Triple H is currently an 11-time World Champion. He's closer to dominance than Cena is, right? Wrong. Triple H has been wrestling since 1992 - a span of 18 years. His eleven championship reigns have him at a rate of .611 championships per year. If he were to continue wrestling into his 37th year, he would attain 22 World Championships - a number much more believable than 42. Even Edge, who is also a 9-time champion, would only attain 25 World Championships at his current .692 championships per year pace.

Also, in this same bracket, the way WWE markets Cena makes him better than every other wrestler currently or formerly on their roster. Plenty of WWE superstars make the annual trip to Iraq/Afghanistan to support the American troops in WWE's Tribute to the Troops. But the only person WWE really markets as military-friendly is John Cena. JBL was a very outspoken guy who loved the US Military and made sure he went over to support them any time WWE went over there, but did you ever hear WWE market him as such? There are also a lot of wrestlers who help out and give their time to the Make-A-Wish foundation, but everytime WWE holds a press release to show their charitable contributions, it's John Cena's smiling face they put in front of the cameras.

A casual viewer might be led to believe that the only person who cares about disabled kids and veterans is John Cena. This makes the rest of the WWE roster look like lazy assholes.

#1. Cena Can(not) Wrestle

The day was June 27th, 2002. The venue was Smackdown live from Chicago, Illinois. Kurt Angle issued a challenge to anyone in the locker room to face him in an improptu match. A green, fresh-face, crew-cut young rookie accepted the challenge and had an excellent wrestling contest with perhaps the best wrestler on the roster.








That young rookie was John Cena. That was John Cena's first official match in the WWE. After seeing that match, I thought WWE had found something special. I figured John Cena would grow into the next great technical wrestler in the mold of Chris Benoit or Dean Malenko. Unfortunately, the above match was arguably the best match John Cena would ever have.

I was right in one aspect, though. WWE has found something special. They found their next marketable superstar, but not through his wrestling ability - through his showmanship. Sure, charisma is a very important part of professional wrestling. The Rock would have been nothing without his charisma. It's charisma that allows the fans to connect with any superstar. However, when charisma becomes more important than wrestling ability in the world of pro-wrestling, it's a problem. To prove my point, watch this video of John Cena's debut on Monday Night RAW.








This was only a mere two years after his initial debut. Nevermind the fact that he won the WWE Championship in only two years (which was covered in the above bracket), but his entire personality has change. His look, entrance and persona became that of a stereotypical 'thug'. All the promise shown in the first video is non-existent in the second video.

All of this is so frustrating because I know John Cena can still wrestle. Every now and again he shows the world that he is still capable of performing at the high level he did against Kurt Angle. The problem is that the WWE knows that the kids John Cena appeals to could care less about Cena's wrestling ability. They want to hear the bad raps and the juvenile jokes he says. They want to buy his increasingly more appalling merchandise. They want to sing along with his over-the-top entrance music. And they want to chant along with his tireless repertoire of catch-phrases. What they don't want to see is Cena wrestle. Well, neither do I. Not if his current status of in-ring performance is what passes as wrestling.
- Derek X
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