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X-Blog #0055: Smackdown Summary 04.02.2010
By: Derek X | Posted: 04/03/10


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Off the heels of an emotional RAW and a lackluster Wrestlemania, let's hope the WWE's most consistent show, Smackdown, delivers as usual.

Tonight's Smackdown emits from Las Vegas, Nevada and kicks off with the World Heavyweight Champion, Chris Jericho.

Matt Striker and Todd Grisham on announcing run through a replay of the Wrestlemania match between Edge and Jericho. Jericho languishes that he is still the World Champion. He is the best in the world at what he does. He told us that he was genetically superior to us all and to Edge. He was right. Last Sunday he wrestled a perfect match and proved he was the greatest champion of all time. He dismantled Edge piece by piece and retained his championship. "You Suck" chants. Jericho berates Edge's spear through the barricade. He was an innocent victim and didn't deserve it. While he layed there, all he heard as 70,000 parasites chanting "Spear!" Jericho calls us all and Edge losers who cut corners and take shortcuts. Edge is a loser and Jericho is champion. He says what he is going to do and that's why he still holds the World Champion. Edge's music hits. Edge gets a great pop! "Spear" chants from the crowd. Edge says Jericho makes a valid point - he has a lot in common with all of us. We all love watching Jericho get speared. And he thinks they'd all love to watch Edge spear him again tonight. Edge wants a rematch for the World Title right now! Jericho smiles. He asks Edge and the crowd if that's what we want. He doesn't care, because he holds the cards. Jericho calls Edge a loser again. Jericho gets in Edge's face and calls him a loser again and tells him to get out of his ring. Edge decks Jericho and goes on the attack. He rips Jericho's suit off, exposing his injured ribs and hits the Edge-cution DDT. Then Edge spears Jericho. Edge looks at Jericho writhe in pain and poses for the crowd. Edge exits the ring. Jack Swagger comes down the ramp. He hits Edge in the back of the head and announces he's cashing in the Money in the Bank briefcase right now. The referee sprints to the ring and takes the briefcase. The ref takes his sweet-ass time 'clearing' the ring. The crowd chants "Ring the Bell!"

Match #1: Chris Jericho vs Jack Swagger
World Heavyweight Championship Match
Swagger hits the Gutwrench Powerbomb on Jericho and wins the World Heavyweight Championship!!!
Result: Jack Swagger wins and becomes the new World Heavyweight Champion
Jack Swagger poses with the World Title and has a very calm demeanor while doing so. Very stoic. The crowd actually cheers for him as he poses.

Wow! Before I get to the wow-factor, I gotta comment on Jericho/Edge. Once again they run the route of: "I want a rematch." "Well you can't have one!" So cliche'. So overdone. It's tired and I'm tired of it. At least this one had a different ending. At least there was some payoff. And what a payoff it was. The spoilers floating around the net made it difficult for me to mark out like I should have, but I was still excited to see it happen. I thought for sure they were setting Swagger up to be the patsy who loses their guaranteed title shot. I guess not. I loved how Swagger calmed down - unlike his normal ecstatic self - and became very stoic. It's was, dare I say, Kurt Angle like. Seeing him in red, white & blue while holding gold took me back to my favorite days of seeing Angle do just that.

Match #2: R-Truth & John Morrison vs Cryme Tyme
Speaking of things I'm getting tired of... R-Truth comes rapping to the ring. Gotta turn this guy heel soon. He's so good at it. John Morrison is out next to his usual reaction. Cryme Tyme gets a bigger pop than Morrison and Truth combined in this face(s) vs face(s) match. That's a bad omen.

Shad and Truth start things off and they lock up with Truth putting Shad in a side head lock. Shad with a shoulder tackle and then he presses Truth over his head but Truth gets out of the hold and then Truth with a kick and the scissors kick before tagging in Morrison who hits the Starship Pain for the three count.
Result: R-Truth & John Morrison win via pinfall
As Truth & Morrison celebrate, JTG can't believe his partner lost so quickly. JTG and Shad argue, with Shad grabbing JTG. JTG pushes him off and eats a big boot. Shad picks JTG up and attacks with knees and a big right hand. The crowd really gives it to Shad. Shad picks JTG up again and hits his huge STO.

Could this be? Say it isn't so! I can't believe it. No, I'm not referring to Cryme Tyme breaking up. That was a long time coming. What surprises me is that was some actual emotion coming from Shad. Some actual acting ability. Who knew he had it in him? Hopefully he can keep it up. All it took is a heel turn. Hear that, Cena? A heel turn. A heel turn. A heel turn. We all know already that JTG was the more talented of the two, but this split does not work in his favor. Shad basically has the body image they salivate for - if he works it out a little more, that is. If he can work on that and his mic skills, he might be a main-eventer yet. JTG, meanwhile is a cruiserweight. Sure, he'll get decent pops whenever he comes out, but he's gonna be relegated to squash and jobber duty.

Jack Swagger walks through the backstage area - his new World Championship glistening on his broad shoulders. He gets a congradulatory comment from Tony Atlas. Swagger sees Shelton Benjamin, then stops and tells him that maybe they should call him the Gold Standard now.

Josh Matthews talks to Shad backstage. Shad says there is no more Cryme Tyme. It's his tyme. Sorry, his time...

Match #3: Drew McIntyre vs Matt Hardy
Drew comes out with his new, long entrance that I'm absolutely entrinced with now. Matt comes out to a huge pop. Drew attacks Matt before the bell sounds. Drew bounces Matt off the ring post and hits the Future Shock DDT. He poses over Matt with the Intercontinental Championship.
Result: No Contest

Not that I don't enjoy the twists and swerves so far, but can a brother get an actual, competitive match? I guess since Matt can't and will never win the World Championship, being in the running for the Intercontinental Championship will have to do. Perhaps he should take Shannon Moore and Jeff Hardy's offer...

Cena is guest starring on some Nickolodeon show... goodness...

A video package of Shawn Michaels' career & retirement is shown. Good stuff.

Backstage, Vicki, Michelle and Layla talk about their Wrestlemania victory and the 'Hog' Splash. They applaud Jack Swagger when he enters. Swagger is looking for Teddy. Vicki says she can handle whatever he needs. Swagger wants to make a Championship Address later on tonight. Vicki says he can have all the time he wants. Swagger kisses Vicki on the cheek and leaves. Michelle and Layla giggle like little girls.

Match #4: The Great Khali vs Dolph Ziggler
Khali comes out to an okay pop, but not what he was getting. Probably because most people forgot who he was. I almost did. {During the commercial break, a decent length TNA advertisement airs. Interesting...} Dolph labors to the ring, still selling some injuries from the Money in the Bank match.

Ziggler goes to the floor before locking up. Then he returns to the ring and Khali with a clothesline and then he sends Ziggler into the turnbuckles. Khali with a chop to the chest followed by a big boot but Ziggler rolls to the floor. Khali pulls Ziggler back onto the apron but Ziggler drops Khali on the top rope and then Ziggler locks in the sleeper. Khali uses the turnbuckles to loosen the hold and Khali with a snap mare. Ziggler recovers and puts Khali in the sleeper and Khali tries to do everything to get out of the hold but he passes out.
Result: Dolph Ziggler wins by Knockout
Khali apparently wasn't too knocked out because he gets a microphone and 'speaks'. Runjin translates that Khali has decided to go home, tend to his family, and get some R&R in. When he returns, he'll become World Champion.

When I asked for a competitive match, Khali was not who I had in mind. Dolph, however, was exactly who I wanted. This match wasn't exactly the best Smackdown could offer, but it was serviceable. Let's keep Dolph riding this roll, please!

CM Punk is leading the Straight-Edge Society (which is angrily sans-Mysterio) to the arena. WWE's Straight-Edge Savior in Sin City? This oughta be good.

WWE Smack of the night is Rey Mysterio defeating CM Punk at Wrestlemania XXVI

Punk's music hits as he, Luke and Serena come out to the ring. Tony Chimel actually introduces them all as the 'Straight-Edge Society' and not just CM Punk. Punk gets a microphone. (I love typing those words.) Luke takes the mic from Punk. (Aww...) Luke tells everyone to open his ears and listen. Punk saved him and he can save every last one of us. Look at the transformation he's gone through. Pay attention, the time to make a change for the better is right here and right now. Luke gives the mic to Punk. The crowd gives it to Punk. Serena takes the mic and tells them to show punk some respect. Look at this man. He is perfect in every way. He is selfless and remarkable. Punk is a healer. She tells us to look into his beautiful eyes to see his isn't blinded by a world of sin and addiction. Punk can save us, like he did for her and Luke. If not for Punk, they'd be like us. Serena says she sees a sea of demons in the crowd, but she sees an angel when she looks at Punk. Punk finally talks! If ever there was a city that needed saving, it's Las Vegas. Punk envies us all at home because we're not in Vegas. Punk says in Vegas, alcohol is available 24/7/365. Smoking is available everywhere. And the savage denizens are cheering the facts like little sheep in the herd. He says Vegas' "What happens here..." catchphrase is a lie. The town is full of lies and liars, like Rey Mysterio. He was supposed to save Rey Mysterio, but he's still out there lying to himself. Rey needs Straight-Edge. Rey needs Punk. Rey was supposed to be Punk's shining light to show everyone that enyone can be saved by Straight-Edge. Punk wants a rematch. Punk is willing to sacrifice his pure, perfect, chemical-free hair. That's how much he cares about Rey. He's willing to sacrifice a piece of himself to save Rey Mysterio.

I was critical of the 'Hair vs Mask' match at Wrestlemania and I was glad they decided not to go that route. But I'm okay with it now. I know every match at Extreme Rules has to have some type of off-the-wall stipulation, so it might as well be this.

Match #5: Michelle McCool & Layla vs Tiffany & Beth Phoenix
Vicki accompanies Team Lay-Cool to the ring. Tiffany & Beth come out separately, and both get a great reaction.

Tiffany and Michelle start off and they lock up. Michelle backs Tiffany into the corner and Michelle pushes Tiffany after the break. Layla and Michelle pose. Tiffany with a drop toe hold and gutbuster. Tiffany with a monkey flip and then she tries for another one in the corner but Michelle pushes her off and gets a near fall. Michelle chokes Tiffany in the ropes and slams her head into the mat. Layla tags in and they hit a double stroke and then Layla with a leg drop for a near fall. Layla with a chin lock and she stretches Tiffany. Tiffany escapes the hold and tags in Beth. Beth with a running shoulder tackle to Layla and then Michelle goes to the floor to avoid Beth. Beth with an airplane spin followed by a clothesline. Beth gets to knock Michelle off the apron. Layla misses a kick and Beth hits the Glam Slam for the three count.
Result: Tiffany & Beth Phoenix wins via pinfall

Divas match. Yawn... At least it was better than the Wrestlemania match. But then again, what wasn't? I hope that match gets serious consideration for Worst Match of the Year.

Teddy Long is backstage, watching the match and enjoying the loss (or the divas, possibly). Jericho confronts Teddy. He demands Teddy reverse the decision. Teddy asks if he wants the rematch tonight, but Jericho says he physically can't. Teddy says that if Jericho can't compete tonight, then he has nothing else to say. Jericho says that Swagger will not get away with this.

Josh Matthews is backstage with The Hart Dynasty. Natayla & David Hart Smith gush over being a part of Bret's match with Vince at Wrestlemania. Tyson Kidd says now it's their time to carry on the tradition and legacy of the Hart family. Jack Swagger interrupts and holds his newly won World Heavyweight Championship in front of the camera.

Match #6: Kane vs The NXT Roster
8-on-1 Handicap Elimination Match
Kane comes to the ring to a great pop. He says he's getting a little bored. When he gets bored, he gets frustrated. And a frustrated montser is bad for everyone. He needs someone to take his frustrations on. The more, the better. He calls out the entire NXT roster. He's going to face them all in an 8-on1 Handicap match. The NXT rookies enter the arena, looking as green as ever.

Kane and Bryan start things off and Bryan with a kick to the leg. Bryan with more kicks to the leg but Kane pushes Bryan down. Bryan with forearms but he is caught by Kane and Kane with a slam and drop kick. Young tags in and Kane with a kick and uppercut followed by a punch. Young with an elbow and punch but Kane does not feel it. Kane sends Young into the turnbuckles followed by an Irish whip but he misses a charge into the corner. Kane with a punch to Young as Darren comes off the turnbuckles. Kane with a hip toss and Gabriel tags in but Barrett gets into the match. Kane sends Barrett into the turnbuckles and punches him. Kane with elbows in the corner followed by a punch. Tarver distracts Kane and Barrett punches him. Barrett with shoulders in the corner but Kane with an uppercut. Barrett with a kick but he comes off the ropes and runs into a big boot and gets pinned. Skip Sheffield comes into the match as we go to commercial. We are back and Sheffield with a side head lock and shoulder tackle but Kane does not budge. Kane with an uppercut and he sends Sheffield into the turnbuckles and then hits an Irish whip and running clothesline into the corner. Kane with a running power slam and Slater breaks up the cover. Slater backs up and he kicks Kane. Slater comes off the turnbuckles and Kane grabs him and hits a choke slam to pin him. Tarver comes in and he kicks Kane in the back of the leg and Kane throws Tarver over the top rope to the floor. Otunga comes into the ring but then he goes to the apron and then the floor as they have a strategy session to deal with Kane in a five-on-one situation. Young goes after Kane and so does Gabriel but Kane fights them off. Bryan chokes Kane and then everyone attacks Kane and the referee calls for the bell.
Result: Kane wins via disqualification
Following the DQ, all the rookies attack Kane. Daniel Bryan hits a flying dropkick and Justin Gabriel hits a 450-Splash. Kane sits up and the rookies flee like roaches.

I wasn't aware DQ was an available option in a Handicap match. NXT's ratings are in a steady decline, so any chance at advertisement will be taken. David Otunga will also be the guest host of RAW this coming Monday. That's gonna be a train wreck, but that's RAW for you. What I don't understand is if you want to gain viewership for NXT, why make all the rookies look like gimps losing to Kane like that?

Another TNA commercial airs during this break, as well. Is this clever advertising by TNA? Or does Vinnie Mac know that competition is good for business?

Tony Chimel introduces the NEW World Heavyweight Champion, The All-American Anmerican Jack Swagger. He gets a mixed reaction from the crowd. Mostly boos, though. This is the first of many addresses he will be giving. He's prepared a few statements. He congratulates us all for being a part of history. This might be the apex of our lives. He;s going to be champion for a long time. He tells the crowd to show some respect and be quiet until he finishes. He's always been the favorite in everything he does. He goes over his career accomplishments including winning the ECW Champion and Money in the Bank. He calls himself the replacement for Shawn Michaels. Jericho's music hits, interrupting Swagger. Jericho tells Swagger to "give it back." Swagger says it's mine now. Jericho says he's the champion. Swagger committed the biggest crime in WWE history. Jericho says when he gets better he gonna take the title back from him. Jericho wants the travesty righted tonight. Edge's music hits. Swagger exits the ring, leaving Edge and Jericho alone. Edge says Swagger wouldn't be champion if not for him. He says he understands cashing in the money in the Bank and he gives Swagger his due. Jericho says he deserves the title. Edge recants that he's the reason why Jericho lost the title. Teddy Long comes out and says Jericho has a rematch that he doesn't want to take. Edge wants it, but doesn't have a rematch clause. So, next week it will be Edge vs Jericho for the #1 Contendership. Jericho hits the Codebreaker on Edge. Swagger re-enters the ring and hits the Gutwrench Powerbomb on both Jericho and Edge.

More of the same old, same old. It doesn't even matter who wins the #1 Contendership match next week. The story is and will be Jack Swagger. In one night he returned to his former ECW self after winning the World Heavyweight Championship. That's great because I love novelty. The WWE is in dire need of something new. They've been living on something borrowed, something blue and a lot of something old. On the contrary, it's also bad. Jack Swagger needs to learn how top exude his aura when he isn't Champion. Otherwise, we might have another John Cena on our hands and we definitely don't need that...

This episode of Smackdown seemed like just that: an episode. It seemed like the season premiere of a television show. So many things changed in the first half of the show, leading to new champions, new rivalries, new heels, etc. I guess that's a good thing, even if I didn't necessarily enjoy the way it occurred.

Hero of the night: Jack Swagger. New champion. New demeanor. So much like Kurt Angle. I love it!
Wimps of the night: R-Truth & John Morrison. After all of that buildup for their 'team', they follow up a loss at Wrestlemania with a quick victory that had absolutely nothing to do with them. I'm just begging for one of them to take all of that momentum and turn on the other - you know, like Cryme Tyme did...
- Derek X
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